It is true to say, I have (on occasions) said the wrong thing at the wrong time; but not necessarily with any evil intent. This trait can be illustrated with a story that dates back a few years during a German tour with a great guitar player, Innes Sibun.

We were a few weeks into the tour and everyone was feeling none the better from the; get hammered..long drive..play gig..get hammered..long drive..play gig effect. I was also desperate to get away from the one band conversation which zig-zagged from anal sex, to german porn, to "how many times I have followed-through", to...well you get the idea. Today, I was going to break this chain of hell and find someone new to talk to; but first we had a sound-check to complete.

After the sound-check I bumped into the local German promoter who spoke good English and looked like a nice enough guy. I approached him as the P.A. sorted some last minute problems by blasting out "Bed's Are Burning" by Midnight Oil.

I started the conversation.. "Bl**dy horrible band aren't they?". "Excuse me", he said. "Midnite Oil... bl**dy horrible band.", I said. "... I mean, the bl**dy singer sounds like a bl**dy Dalek". "A Dalek?" he said, "vot is a Dalek?". " A Dalek", I said "is a character from Dr. Who.. it's a killing machine." The promoter looked more confused. "Cmon" I said, "you must have seen Dr. Who and the Daleks on German T.V..." Still, my new friend was confused. I was disappointed and embarrased. Desperately I said, " Daleks, Daleks, you know..." I started marching up and down the stage, legs locked with one arm thrust forward (for the eye stalk) shouting, "EXTERMINATE...EXTERMINATE...EXTERMINATE..." I was proud. He was distraut. The German sound crew went quiet. The bar staff went quiet.

I disappeared into the dressing room still unaware of the the diplomatic blunder (of biblical proportions) I had just commited. Innes and the band followed me in. Slowly, someone in the band explained to me (in between fits of giggles) what I just done, and indeed, what a great impression of a Nazi I'd performed in front of a load of Germans. I was HORRIFIED.

(Don't mention the bl**dy war!!!)